Author: south ridge church

     Day 3: The Result of Envy: Part II

Have you ever stopped to consider your level of contentment in life? Perhaps it would be better to ask it this way: On a scale of 1-10, how content are you right now? 

As you may have guessed, one of the things that leads us away from contentment — is envy. Not only that, but envy is the one thing that has the potential to completely suck the joy out of our lives. 

Regarding the seven deadly sins, scholar Joseph Epstein writes that each of these sins may lead to a temporary satisfaction…except for envy. He writes, “Giving into sloth and laziness, is rather pleasant. Giving into a loss of temper, entails a release that is not without its small delights. And lust, greed, pride, bring quite a bit of pleasure…Only envy is absolutely no fun at all, draining all joy from you from its very first moment. We have all felt envy’s desperate deep soul-destroying lacerating stabs.”

From a Christian perspective, all sin leads us away from our ability to fully trust God (Galatians 5:19-21). But in his research, Epstein concludes that envy is the one thing that most drains joy from our lives. As you read today, consider this: On a scale of 1-10, how content are you right now?

READING:

     James 4:1-17

On a scale of 1-10, how content are you right now? Is it possible that envy is the one thing that is completely sucking the joy out of your life?

Think about a time in your life when you were experiencing the most contentment and joy. What was that season of your life like? Were you experiencing much envy? 

What scripture verse in James chapter 4 stuck out to you most in your reading today? How will you apply this verse throughout the rest of the week? 

God is inviting you to root out any and all envy you may be experiencing in your life. Have you scheduled a time to meet with a trusted friend to talk with them about your envy? 

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, while I may not be living in complete discontentment, I realize that I could (and should) have more contentment than I’m currently experiencing. Today, my desire is to simply praise You for all of the good I have in my life, and not disparage others for what they have. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 2: The Result of Envy: Part I

Have you ever had a friend or loved one tell you that they struggle with envy? The answer for the majority who are reading this right now would be a big fat no. This is because it’s very difficult for anybody to admit that they have any envy. Similarly, it’s even more difficult to confront somebody who may struggle with envy.

Secular scholar Joseph Epstein has done years of research on the topic of envy. In an essay discussing why we don’t want to confront others who are struggling with envy, Epstein writes, “Most of us could still sleep decently if accused of anger or pride or lust or even greed, but to be accused of envy would be by far the worst. So clearly does such an accusation go directly to character. The other sins, though all have the disapproval of religion, do not so thoroughly, deeply, demean, diminish or disqualify a person. But you see the distinction of envy is its enormous pettiness.” 

In other words, Epstein concludes that we don’t like to confess to struggling with envy because it goes directly against our character. We don’t like to confess to struggling with envy because it makes us look petty.

As you read today, consider this: How could somebody help you root out any envy you may have in order to grow?

READING:

     James 3:7-18 

How could somebody help you root out any envy you may have in order to grow in emotional and spiritual health? 

Do you agree with Epstein, that envy is one of the greatest character flaws we can have? That envy makes us look petty? Explain. 

According to James 3:7-18, how does envy lead us to speak about others? 

God is inviting you to root out any and all envy you may be experiencing in your life. Who is somebody you trust who you can talk with about your envy? If possible, schedule a time to talk with them sometime within the next week.

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, thank You for the reminder that how I see others and speak about them really matters, because You have created all people in Your likeness. Continue to provide me with wisdom to see others as You do, and to regularly offer words of encouragement and not condemnation. I pray these things in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 1: What is Envy?

Of the many different things that may discourage or distract us from growing in emotional and spiritual health, envy is one that may very well top the list. But what is envy? 

In a nutshell, envy is the desire to have somebody else’s life. Or in other words, it’s resenting somebody else for the life they have. 

Some marks of a person who struggles with envy may include:

• Not rejoicing in what others have or get to experience. Instead, resenting them because you don’t have what they do.
• Finding fault with a particular person regularly. 
• Being comforted or rejoicing when something bad happens to somebody in a position of authority. 
• Regularly experiencing self-pity.
• Regularly struggling with comparison-itis. Nothing is good enough. Your job isn’t good enough. Your marriage isn’t good enough. Your love life isn’t good enough. Your body isn’t good enough. Most aspects of life aren’t good enough, because you compare everything you have against others. 

As you read today, consider this: Why do you think it’s hard for people to admit they struggle with envy? 

READING:

     Exodus 20:17; Galatians 5:26; Hebrews 13:5

Why do you think it’s hard for people to admit they struggle with envy? 

Think about it: what are at least five possible consequences to a life of envy? 

How many of these consequences have you personally experienced?

God is inviting you to root out any and all envy you may be experiencing in your life. Ask God to reveal any envy you may be experiencing in your life. 

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, I recognize that You are inviting me to root out all envy from my life. I don’t want to continually struggle with comparison-itis, but our world functions in constant comparison. Lead and guide me to see envy for what it really is. Provide me wisdom to not only recognize it, but to root it out so that I may better rejoice with others, and not constantly condemn them. Lead me into a life of contentment. I pray these things in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 5: Commit to Growth

READING: Psalm 40

• Read Psalm 40. What does this Psalm say about God helping us out of the muck and mire of life? (see v.2)
• What is the most memorable lesson you’ve learned about the nature and character of God this week? 
• What is the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself this week?
• Take 10 minutes to write out your own prayer to God today. 

     Day 4: Receiving Judgment From God

Christians within our culture grow up with many different thoughts and teachings about God. But one of the things in which all denominations agree — whether Methodists, Baptists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Catholics or others — is that the God of the Bible is a righteous God and a just God (See Psalm 89:14). As such, He will hold us accountable in this life, and in the next, for our decisions. How can we receive accountability and discipline from God in a way that will ultimately lead to growth? 

First, it’s essential to understand that God doesn’t look at our poor decisions in life and say, “What in the world is wrong with you?” Remember, our God is a God of GRACE first, and we must see Him in this light. So when we make a poor decision, God isn’t saying, “I’ll love you when you clean up this mess,” He’s saying, “I love you so much I’m going to help you clean up this mess.” He’s not a God observing from far away, but is right next to us, deep in the muck and mire with us. 

Second, it’s just as important to understand that God wants to see us grow. In the same way a parent wants to see their child do well in life, God is seeking to accomplish the same within our lives.

As you read today, consider this: How well do you receive judgment or discipline from God? 

READING:

     Deuteronomy 8:5-6; Job 5:17-18; Hebrews 12:5-9

How well do you receive judgment or discipline from God? 

Be honest: Do you normally think of God as saying, “I’ll love you more when you clean up this mess,” or a God who says, “I love you so much I’m going to help you clean up this mess?” Does this help you to see or think about the nature and character of God any differently? 

God is inviting you to change the way you see yourself. How will you think differently about yourself this week?

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, once again, today’s reading has helped me to see You as a God of GRACE first, and not as a God of RULES. Thank you for Your unmerited favor. Thank You for loving me in ways in which nobody else can. Thank You for being with me, and helping me out of the muck. And thank You for disciplining me in order to help me grow. 

Today, may I continue to better reflect and represent the essence of who You are (a God of GRACE) to all I interact with. I pray all of this in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 3: Receiving Judgment From Others

It’s hard to receive negative criticism from others. And when we do receive it, there are usually about three options in how we respond:

• Get angry and offer excuses or blame shift 
• Throw our hands in the air and say, “I don’t really care what anybody else thinks.”
• Receive the criticism well, and grow as a result. 

Option 1 doesn’t work very well, and doesn’t help us to relationally connect with others well. Option 2 completely removes all capacity for connecting with others. If we never care what others think, we will eventually shut out feedback that may prove quite helpful. Option 3, of course, is the best path to choose. But what does it mean to receive criticism well?

This is a difficult question, but one step is to ask ourselves some tough questions. Is there any truth to what they said? If so, that doesn’t mean I’m a terrible person. It just means I made a mistake and I can grow as a result. Like yesterday’s reading, offering positive self-talk is perhaps the best step we can take. 

As you read today, consider this: How well do you receive judgment or criticism from others? 

READING:

     Galatians 6:1; Proverbs 27:6; Ephesians 4:29; Ecclesiastes 5:2

How well do you receive judgment or criticism from others? 

What does it mean to restore somebody gently? (Galatians 6:1)

A counselor once said, “If somebody treats you poorly and you continue to allow them to treat you poorly, you’re basically teaching them that it’s OK to treat you poorly.” What steps can you take to receive criticism from others, and help coach them on how they can share constructive criticism with you in a way that you will receive it well? 

God is inviting you to change the way you see yourself. How will you think differently about yourself this week?

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, there are some people in my life who I feel comfortable receiving constructive feedback from, but there are others who often share feedback in such a way that leads me to anger. Provide me the wisdom I need to help others share constructive feedback with me in a way that will lead me to growth. This will be difficult, but I will continue to trust You throughout the process. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 2: Judging Yourself

Take just a moment to look back to the first week of this study. What is one thing that discourages or distracts you from growing in emotional and spiritual health? It’s possible your answer to that question has changed over the past few weeks. It’s also possible that your answer to that question — is you. In other words, it’s possible that you have such a low opinion of yourself, that you’re not even sure you can grow. 

Recent surveys have indicated that one of the most common things that prevents people from experiencing emotional and spiritual growth is Negative Self-Talk. And while women are generally more open to admitting they struggle with negative self-talk, men struggle with it just as much. 

I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I forgot to put the garage door down after I got home. 

I can’t believe I forgot about that meeting today. I’m such a loser.

12,000 miles since the last oil change? Wow, I’m a moron. 

I knew we were out of groceries and I still didn’t go shopping, because I’m lazy.

As you read today, consider this: How often do you have negative self-talk? Has anything good ever come from it? 

READING:

     Ephesians 5:29; Galatians 2:20; Psalm 139:14; Jeremiah 29:11

How often do you have negative self-talk? Has anything good ever come from it? 

Case Study: You miss an important deadline because you’re overslept after being out too late the night before. How would you respond:

• “I’m such an idiot!”
• “That was a foolish thing to do. And here are some steps I will take so that I don’t make that mistake again later in life.”

God is inviting you to change the way you see yourself. How will you think differently about yourself this week?

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, I confess there are days when I think negative thoughts about myself. Continue to lead and guide me this week to see myself in the same way that You see me. Remove from me everything that may distract or discourage me to grow – Fear, Hurt, Worry, Judgment, Envy & Shame – so that I may continue to grow into the person You have created me to be. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 1: Judging Others 

Let’s be honest: it’s easy to judge others. It’s easy to judge how they drive. It’s easy to judge how they parent. It’s easy to judge how they work. It’s easy to judge how they dress. It’s just…easy to judge. 

But have you ever stopped to think about why we judge others? Some researchers have learned that the primary reason we judge others is because we think lowly of ourselves. In other words, research has shown that if we think we can convince ourselves that others have a more pathetic life than we do, then we’ll feel better about who we are. But guess what? It doesn’t work…EVER! 

What does work, is coming to the realization that we cannot grow if we regularly judge others. Why? Because we cannot grow if we think lowly of ourselves. And if we judge others primarily because we think lowly of ourselves, we just get caught in this vicious cycle.

While the solution sounds simple, it’s quite difficult to put into practice on a regular basis. Our culture has basically trained us to be judgmental towards others. Doing the opposite takes diligence, and a willingness to allow others to hold us accountable.

As you read today, consider this: Are you willing to give others permission to hold you accountable to being less judgmental?

READING:

     Matthew 7:1-5; John 8:1-8; James 4:11-12; Proverbs 27:17

Are you willing to give others permission to hold you accountable to being less judgmental. (Proverbs 27:17)

What do you think is the difference between judging others vs holding others accountable for their actions? In other words, when is it OK to hold somebody accountable, and when does it cross a line to judging them? 

Would you agree that we often judge others as a way to try to feel better about ourselves? Why doesn’t this work? 

God is inviting you to change the way you see yourself. How will you think differently about yourself this week?

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, I confess that there are times in my life when I judge others and that I have done so just to try to feel better about myself. This week, I pray that You will continue to lead and guide me to see myself in the same way You see me. Not as someone who is of little value, but as someone who You valued so much that You sent Jesus to give His life for me. May this truth resonate deep within me! I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

     Day 5: Commit to Growth

READING: Psalm 55

• Read Psalm 55. What are some things that may have led the author of this Psalm to be worried or afraid?
• What steps did he take to experience growth and healing from his worries? (see v.22)
• How will you continue to think differently about your worries, depression & anxieties in the weeks ahead?  
• What is the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself this week? About God? Other? 

     Day 4: Renewal of the Mind

Have you ever heard your grandfather say, “Back when I was your age, we weren’t afraid of a little snow. In fact, we used to walk to school in 2 feet of snow!” He may have exaggerated the story a little bit more each time. But the main point was the same: we weren’t afraid of a little snow.

But today, we do worry more than we used to. We worry about allowing our kids to roam the neighborhood and play, concerned that something bad may happen. We worry about preparing a Holiday meal for the extended family, concerned that there won’t be enough or that it won’t be prepared well. We worry about what they’ll think of the house. We worry about what they may say. We worry about…far too much. 

Statistically, our kids are safer now than ever. We just worry more because we see news media that regularly shows bad things happening. As for the Holiday dinner…we worry because we care too much about what others think. In fact, some of us spend too much time worrying about what we think others are thinking! 

Bottom line: We need to change the way we think. As you read today, consider this: What steps do you need to go through to experience a renewal of the mind? 

READING:

     Romans 12:2; Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:21-24

Some scholars have noted that a renewal of the mind isn’t something that happens overnight. Instead it takes time, and a lot of practice. Given your life schedule, what steps can you take to regularly practice and experience a renewal of the mind?

Of the three scripture passages you read today, which one resonates with you most? Why do you think that is? 

What are 2 – 3 things in your everyday life you can limit or completely remove that may help you to worry less?

God is inviting you to change the way you think about your worries, depression and anxiety. How will you think differently this week?

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, thank You once again for the truths communicated in Your Word. I’m grateful that there can be a renewing of the mind, and it’s my desire to commit to trusting You to help me get there. Continue to reveal to me Your good, pleasing, and perfect will, and may I reflect the essence of who You are as I interact with others today. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.