the helpless marriage: marriage as friendship (part 2)

Earlier this week I wrote about the importance of friendship in marriage.  Friendship, you see, is just as important in marriages that may be feeling healthy as it is in those that may be feeling helpless.

Why is friendship important? Because marriage is the one relationship that most closely reflects the quality of our relationship with Jesus Christ.  Think about the gospel for just a minute.

We’ve sinned against a holy God. You. Me. We’ve all done it.

He sent His Son Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins.

And Jesus wasn’t just whipped and hanged on a cross. He bore the weight of our sins on His shoulders. Our sins nailed Him to the cross.

Think about the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced in your life. The greatest hurt you’ve experienced due to somebody’s sin against you. Now magnify that times a million. That’s getting close to what Jesus felt.

And what did He do as a result? He didn’t say, “That person hurt me so badly I’m never going to speak to them again.”  He didn’t say, “What were they thinking when they committed that sin against me?” He didn’t say anything like that at all.  Instead, He bore our sins and still invited us to be His friend. John 15:13 says it like this:

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Jesus said that, shortly before He laid down His life for you and me.

If your marriage is currently healthy – that’s great! It really is. Ask your spouse, “What’s one thing I can do for you over the next week to be a better friend?”

If you’re feeling helpless in your marriage, passages such as this should give you hope. Hope that friendship is possible in the worst of circumstances. Hope that restoration is possible.  In the most fortunate turn of events, Jesus has asked you to be friend!


This is part 2 in a 3-part series on the helpless marriage. Read each post in the series at the links below:

Marriage as Friendship Part 1

Marriage as Friendship Part 2

Marriage as Friendship Part 3

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